Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Forever Grateful

I'm learning from another friend's pain about what a gift it is to have a child. Even though time spent with one of her children was cut short, she doesn't dwell on his death but rejoices in the time that she was able to have with him.
I'm watching a documentary about disabled infants. I know, it feels weird to type it too. But parents are talking about making a decision to try to feed their infant baby or just give her comfort measures and let her pass. I can't imagine ever having to make that choice or even be in that position. I've been so ridiculously spoiled with 3 healthy, beautiful children. 
Today was a rough day with Mike gone and taking care of the 3 on my own. But it's nothing compared to what some parents go through. I'm going to make a conscious effort tomorrow not to whine, complain, raise my voice, and so on. I'm going to love, nuture, play and enjoy. Because while I was given this amazing gift....I too can have it taken away. a hole in the head.

Seriously. As if I need one more thing to complicate my life. Living 3000 + km from everything I know, going from 0 to married in 30 seconds and now.....3 KIDS! As if I needed this. Well, I do. And I'm going to try to commit to it, despite my commitment issues. 
I need a place to document the funny things M says. I need to record the various twin milestones (because M's scrapbook turned out so darn well ;p) I need to lay down the bits and bites that make our family who they are. Most of all, I want a place that my children can look to one day and understand why. Why I stand in their bedroom door and watch them breathe while they sleep, why I inhale deeply whenever I kiss them (and why one kiss is never enough) and why our life is what it is. We don't know where the path will take us, but it's always great to look back upon the roads that got us there. This will be our map.